文档章节

drawstring and of anything

l
 lluggg816
发布于 2015/04/20 16:13
字数 611
阅读 2
收藏 0

5 Men's Products That Are Clearly Women's Products

Due to the staggering increase in the number of men who wear makeup (a figure arguably interchangeable with the number of men who don't understand that fame and wealth are required before it's acceptable to look like a jackass), cosmetics companies have begun marketing their products directly to male consumers, providing them with a more dignified alternative to rooting through their girlfriend's purse while she's on the phone with her dying grandmother.

5. Alpha Nail Polish

The makers of Alpha Nail nail polish (like alpha male, get it? Goddammit that's clever, we'll buy one of every color!) have successfully convinced men to paint their nails by referring to their product as "war paint" and "armor," instead of what it actually is, "Adam Lambert's Sunday afternoon."

None of those words are true. And dressing like that is a surefire way to regain your virginity. Joe's male stripper division.

4. Anti Shine PowderMenaji Anti Shine Powder is for guys looking for a way to conceal their overly shiny skin, which, despite sounding like an android malfunction, is apparently a problem that human beings encounter. The product description assures us that it's "not that girly if no one knows," which we cheapsunglasseswholesale.us.com assume is their half hearted attempt to encourage grown men to buy face powder that comes in a little case with a mirror and a puffy applicator while simultaneously acknowledging that such an item is called a compact, and compacts are things that ladies use.

3. Sport Men's Alice Football HairbandThe jagged, testosterone dripping "metal teeth" on the Sodial Men's Headband are designed to keep your flowing warrior's mane out of your eyes while you sports the fuck out of everything around you. "Hair bands aren't just for girls, you asshole," it seems to Wholesale Sunglasses say. And hey, even David Beckham wears one, and he's a dude.

Of course, David Beckham is a very buy fake oakleys pretty dude, and he typically wears as much makeup as his inflatable wife. Also, having "Alice" in the headband's name seems to rob it of masculinity, especially when you consider that it is called an "Alice band" after the titular little girl in Alice in Wonderland.

2. Puffs for Men

Puffs for Men

This is actually manlier if you think of it as a Star Trek costume.

The makers of Puffs www.buyreplicaoakleys.com for Men's Jumbo Body Puff assure their customers that no longer shall they have to endure the snickers of checkout clerks in cosmetics stores to fill their oversized powder puff needs. The Jumbo Body Puff can be discreetly purchased online, and comes complete with a masculine camouflage print bag to keep it hidden from your friends, lest they report you to the police and have your Maxim subscription revoked. Of course, we question the "masculinity" both of a tiny satin handbag with a drawstring and of anything that could be concealed within, unless it's a hand grenade made of monster trucks and mustaches.

1. Manscara

Mmuk Man

MMUK's Manly Man's Man Manscara, in addition to being the most club footed overcompensation in the history of product naming, is the key to being successful in the boardroom and the bedroom (apparently). Manscara lets you make those eyes pop while maintaining your masculinity, a phrase which here means "attempting to be dark and interesting, but instead looking like Johnny Depp's swollen diabetic nephew and/or the bad guy from Stargate." Its durable, "all day" formula guarantees that it will withstand even the most blubbery sobbing fit, which you will undoubtedly experience after having failed so utterly at life.


© 著作权归作者所有

共有 人打赏支持
l
粉丝 0
博文 6
码字总数 3690
作品 0
崇明
如何取Graphics2D渲染的画布上的数据

我用Graphics2D的drawString方法写了一些文字,如: graphics2D.drawString("test",0,10); graphics2D.drawString("test2",10,10); 那么我如何能得到写上去的值呢?我想要的结果是画步上的文...

赵国鑫
2013/11/19
242
2
用JAVA,MySQL写个折线图,出了点状况,求大神指出!

这里是源码: package demo;import java.awt.Canvas; import java.awt.Color; import java.awt.Graphics; import java.awt.event.ActionEvent; import java.awt.event.ActionListener; impor......

新手小白
2015/12/08
452
2
一个java写的贪吃蛇程序

这个代码是我初涉编程的那年写成的,我从哈尔滨退学去了新乡我女朋友(现在成了俺老婆了)那里,在那里经历了个冬天,我们租的小屋是木板隔开的,有个公用阳台可以做饭,我们当时没有电脑,没...

晨曦之光
2012/04/10
504
0
怎么才能在java窗口里添加背景图片,线程怎么才能在按下按钮的时候实现事件?

老师让做一个小游戏,我想添加背景图片。但是别说背景图片了,就是普通图片和文字都显示不出来。是被按钮覆盖了么?我想按下暂停按钮就输出某一个食物 本人新手一只。程序写得比较乱,求指导...

金书雯丶
2016/01/06
276
0
C#为标准的进度条控件增加百份比显示

int percent = (int)(((double)progressBar1.Value / (double)progressBar1.Maximum) * 100); progressBar1.CreateGraphics().DrawString(percent.ToString() + "%", new Font("Arial", (flo......

Yong_Luo
2010/09/25
0
0

没有更多内容

加载失败,请刷新页面

加载更多

TypeScript基础入门之高级类型的多态的 this类型

转发 TypeScript基础入门之高级类型的多态的 this类型 高级类型 多态的this类型 多态的this类型表示的是某个包含类或接口的子类型。 这被称做F-bounded多态性。 它能很容易的表现连贯接口间的...

durban
15分钟前
0
0
tomcat中的几种log catalina localhost

体会 catalina.out catalina.log 是tomcat的标准输出(stdout)和标准出错(stderr) cataliana.{yyyy-MM-dd}.log和localhost.{yyyy-MM-dd}.log 是通过logging.properties配置的tomcat自己运行的......

onedotdot
37分钟前
1
0
Oracle return exit continue

常在循环体中看到下面3种语句: return exit continue 举例说明 啥都没有 -- none begin for i in 1 .. 10 loop if i < 5 then dbms_output.put_line('i < 5, i = ' || to_char......

taadis
今天
3
0
JSONObject 转换时出错 InvocationTargetException

JSONObject 转换时出错java.lang.reflect.InvocationTargetException 一时看不出来是什么问题。 挺奇怪的。 百度参考了一下这个 网页的解决方案 说是类型不对,空? 仔细查看代码,果然是有一...

之渊
今天
3
0
no such module 'pop'问题

在github上 clone 了一个 swift 项目,编译时提示"no such module 'POP'"错误,查了一下居然是因为podfile中指定的最低版本是iOS 11.0,大于我测试手机的iOS版本10.3.3,将Podfile中的最低版...

yoyoso
今天
3
0

没有更多内容

加载失败,请刷新页面

加载更多

返回顶部
顶部