最佳损友

2017/04/24 21:21
阅读数 69

Today, I came to a realization that the closest people to me in my life, the ones who are warm and welcoming, who're happy to see me, who honestly wanna know how I've been and how I feel, whose smiles make me feel warm and fuzzy inside, are the baristas at Starbucks, not my actual 'friends'. FML

今天,我意识到谁才是我生命中最亲的人,他是如此的热情好客,他见到我是如此的开心,他是如此的想知道我我过得怎么样、我的感受如何,她的微笑使我感到温暖,他——星巴克的咖啡师,我的“好朋友........."FML

 

Today, my Darwin Award-nominated cousin got himself admitted to the hospital because he substituted the hammer and screwdriver for a meat tenderizer and a knife when he couldn't find the toolbox. The one I clearly labeled "TOOLS" in giant letters to avoid this situation from happening again. FML

今天,我达尔文奖提名的表弟把自己送进了医院,因为他找不到工具箱时,用锤子和螺丝刀替代肉类软化剂和刀。 于是我写了超大的“工具”二字贴在工具箱上,以避免这种情况再次发生。

 

Today, while shopping for groceries, a small child pointed at my face and exclaimed : "DOGGIE!" FML

今天,在购买杂货的时候,一个小孩子指着我的脸,喊道:“小狗!(我长得就那么像狗?)

 

Today I got a call from my daughter's school, because she claimed that she couldn't see out of her right eye. I panicked and went to pick her up. On the way to the emergency(n. 紧急情况;突发事件;非常时刻) room, she turns to me and says, "I'm fine. I didn't want to take a test." FML

今天我收到了女儿学校的电话,因为她声称她的右眼失明了。 我惊慌万分,马上去学校接她。 在去医院的路上,她却转过身来对我说:“呃.......爸爸,我想我已经康复了,因为考试时间已经过了~”(你回家我保证你妈不会打死你!)

 

Today, and every other day this week, I brought carrots and celery into work to eat as a snack instead of chocolate. I got back from lunch to find a note on my desk saying, "Do you really think it's OK to eat carrots and celery that loudly every day?" Guess I won't try to be healthy. FML

这个星期,我把胡萝卜和芹菜带来公司作为零食来代替巧克力。 今天中午吃完午餐回来,在桌子上找到一张纸条,说:“你认为每天大声地吃胡萝卜和芹菜真的有好处吗?” .......我猜如果再这样下去我的生命安全都不保了~

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